I used to be vibrant.

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I really envy my friends their feelings of purpose,
their sense of direction
that assurance of impending greatness.

 I used to have that, too.

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What I really need

more than anything
is a quiet room I can go to

and close the door.

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Awakening

Slowly coming to terms with the idea
that not only will I not accomplish
the great things I always dreamed about

But I probably
was never meant to
anyway.

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Reading Early Bukowski

Here's the thing
about Bukowski:

sure,
     he is an asshole

,

but you can kind of tell

he wasn't

always

      that way

and probably

has

his reasons.

--SS

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“Make a radical change in your lifestyle and begin to boldly do things which you may previously never have thought of doing, or been too hesitant to attempt. So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservation, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun. If you want to get more out of life, you must lose your inclination for monotonous security and adopt a helter-skelter style of life that will at first appear to you to be crazy. But once you become accustomed to such a life you will see its full meaning and its incredible beauty.”

- Jon Krakauer, Into the Wil

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Poetry News, At Last

My free verse poem, "Haunt," has just been published in ChiZine, the online journal of horror fiction and poetry. You can read it by clicking the link below:

"Haunt" by Scott Standridge on ChiZine

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