Christmas Conspiracy Carol

(to the tune of "Let It Snow")

Oh the weather outside's ungodly,
And the pets are behaving oddly--
Now the sky is beginning to glow...
UFO! UFO! UFO!

All the weather balloons are popping
And my digital watch is stopping
Wonder if it's a friend or foe?
UFO! UFO! UFO!

[bridge]
If you happen to see strobe lights
Don't hang around to inspect 'em
Or an alien probe just might
Investigate your rectum!

There's a weird and unearthly humming;
Guess the aliens are coming!
Let's jump in the truck and go!
UFO! UFO! UFO!


Don't ask me where it comes from. I honestly don't know. :)

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Ho ho HO-LEE CRAP!

I see these every year, and they never fail to bring a sadistic smile to my face:

Scared of Santa Gallery

Containing many pictures of young children traumatized by their exposure to Jolly Ol' St. Nick.

This year Thea, our three-year-old, was similarly uncooperative when it came to getting a picture made with Santa. The photography told us that for some reason 3 seems to be the age where most kids freak out. At two they're trusting and easy-to-deal-with, at 4 they know enough about the Christmas deal to behave in Santa's lap, but at three...well, see for yourself.

To be fair, though, some of these guys are very scary.

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Things in My Notebook I Don't Remember Writing, #1

"Early on the beautiful people go off to
beautifully screw, and what's left is the
monsters."




Your guess is as good as mine.

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